Crazy Love

This year for Lent, I’ve decided to give an extra hour of my life to Christ each day. That means things that I would’ve done anyway – church, youth group, soup & scripture – don’t count toward it.

When thinking about this extra time, I knew that I wanted to spend part of it in prayer, part with worship music, but… how to spend the rest? I’ve been meaning to do the Crazy Love Bible study for a while now, so I decided to add that in.

Funny, because the forward ties right into tonight’s Lent topic. Chris Thomlin references Acts 11:26 –

It was at Antioch that the believers were first called Christians

– and he highlights the word called. They didn’t choose the name for themselves; they were named by the people observing them. And Thomlin poses the question as to whether one could observe our lives today and know that we are Christians just by how we live.

I know that it can be like that. My husband saw something in me that he adored… such a brilliance and a passion for life and people, that he was willing to overlook what in his eyes normally would’ve been the fatal flaw of being a Christian. And whatever he may think, I know that was the light of Christ shining through me.

I also know that I’m not as close to Christ now as I was a mere year and a half ago, and my heart longs to be back there, to go deeper with him. I want that passion and that fire and that fearless, crazy love back.

Which was the topic of Pastor Patricia’s Lent meditation tonight. She read from 2 Corinthians 6:3-4 –

We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God.

– and she asked what is holding you back from that being true?

A number of things sprung to mind: Fear of a church community I don’t know, shyness. The lack of small group studies and close Christian friends in the area. But I know the primary hurdle is simply… laziness. I don’t hold myself accountable for committing time to Christ.

Hence, posting my usually private journal to my blog. Now I’m accounted for.

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